Microwaves and echos

It's taken me a long time, but I think I've finally figured out what my microwave is trying to tell me when it beeps.
"Finished!" is 3
"I'm switching power cycles now." is 5 in the middle of heating.
"HELP, I AM ON FIRE." Is 13
"Go away" Is 2 rather short beeps
"Whatever it is, I'm against it." Is 7
"You're not paying enough attention to me" is 4, repeated until it's satisfied
"I don't care what you say, I'm not going to heat that to the right temperature, and you're just going to have to live with it." Is 8
"I've been disconnected!" Is 1.5
"Feed me" is 6
"I am pouting because I am feeling ignored" Is one long, low beep.
and "I'm happy!" NEVER STOPS.