A thing, which happened last year (or so)

I was in France, studying stain-glass windows in maritime monasteries. Now, I don't know French. I know this is a problem when you're traveling in France and trying to speak to scholars about their buildings, but there you are. I go where I'm sent, and this time it was coastal France.
It was maybe my third week out when I was kidnapped by Spanish pirates. I think they had mistaken me for someone else because they kept asking me where 'it' was, and I think they were calling me Dani. And their French was tainted with Spanish, which made it even more difficult to understand, you see. I kept saying I had no idea what they were talking about, but they didn't believe me.
This went on for a week. The whole time I was watching Captain Alfonso stamp up and down with a magnificent sword dangling from his belt, and the whole time I was watching that sword very intently. That morning I was feeling particularly annoyed at the questions and the indecipherable French and the assumptions and the smell, so when I knocked the Captain over and stole his sword, I wasn' particularly shocked.
There was a long, dramatic sword fight, which I obviously won (since I live to tell the tale). I ordered the crew (in very bad French indeed) to go back to shore and back to where I was, thank you very much. They of course respected someone that could best their captain. I kept the sword, which I knew nothing about.
Apparently the sword belonged to Jean-louise Montgafeaux, who was a legendary monster hunter. I was hailed as a hero when I got back to France and turned the Spanish pirates in and returned the famous sword. But not all was well, because during that fight with Captain Alfonso my thumb got seriously bruised. It swelled up quite a bit, and turned all interesting shades on blue and purple and green and yellow.
That was some years ago, though, and now my life has gone back to normal and the bruise has faded. I don't have anything but medals and clips from papers and what not to remember it from. I really wish I had gotten at least one good scar.