Microwaves and echos

It's taken me a long time, but I think I've finally figured out what my microwave is trying to tell me when it beeps.
"Finished!" is 3
"I'm switching power cycles now." is 5 in the middle of heating.
"HELP, I AM ON FIRE." Is 13
"Go away" Is 2 rather short beeps
"Whatever it is, I'm against it." Is 7
"You're not paying enough attention to me" is 4, repeated until it's satisfied
"I don't care what you say, I'm not going to heat that to the right temperature, and you're just going to have to live with it." Is 8
"I've been disconnected!" Is 1.5
"Feed me" is 6
"I am pouting because I am feeling ignored" Is one long, low beep.
and "I'm happy!" NEVER STOPS.

Alone, in the kitchen with an onion

Inspired by the second story on this episode of "selected Shorts" (though you should listen to the first one as well) I have a question for all of you. What do you find yourself making, again and again (even though you know no one else in the world would think it ;s normal) when your alone, in the kitchen with no one else to cook for?
I grill onions. Sometimes in butter, sometimes in olive oil, with mushrooms when I have them, usually with garlic, sometimes with a little cheese melted into it. But usually, just slopped straight from the pan into a bowl, all gooey and salty, eaten alone with a fork.